Tuesday, July 31, 2012


So this is a little (or a lot) late, but my scans at the end of May came back clean! Everything is looking great. My doctor is pleased with how I'm doing, and she feels that I'm moving in a great direction. 
My next scan would be scheduled for October, however most likely I will not have it done. The hope is that we will be trying to get pregnant then, and I don't want to risk the radiation. Even if I'm not pregnant, I'm not sure I want to keep getting the radiation. I just feel like its not worth the extra exposure, especially with all the work I'm putting in to detox my body. A scan would just be a step backwards, at a time when moving forward is so important. 


The summer time is proving to be rough emotionally. We spent last summer so hopeful that Saoirse was going to be well, and she seemed to be heading that way. We spent all our time with her - doing fun things and finding things to do that would make her forget she was sick. We made sure she enjoyed every day. 
Now, everything we do is a reminder of last summer and what we did with Saoirse. It's a reminder of all the things we did with her, and all the things she got to experience. But it's also a reminder of all the things she never got to experience. When we do find something new to experience, we are saddened that Saoirse didn't get to do it with us. 
This is the double edged sward of our summer this year. A time when we feel like we should be enjoying ourselves, but instead we are forcing ourselves to try and be "normal." But, thanks to good friends and family, we have been coerced into getting out and enjoying the season. 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

One Change....

If you could go back and change one thing, would you? Knowing that it would change everything that happened after, would you still? Knowing that it still might not lead to what you want it to, would it be worth it? Would you change your fate? Or would you let your fate change you?

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

More Signs...

I haven't written about so many of the things that have been going on. There has been so much. I need desperately to catch up. So, sadly, this post will be kind of short, but I wanted to get it down before I forgot. 

Saoirse has been showing up to our lovely visitors recently. Our amazing friend Paul came here from Chicago to go down to the Today Show event with us. He got in really late the night before we were going, and so he stayed on our couch that night. Well apparently Saoirse wanted him to visit with her, because she kept turning off his music on his phone. She just didn't want him to be listening I guess. 

Mike's niece, Alyssa, stayed with us for 2 weeks as well recently. She stayed up in Saoirse's room, and we had a blast having her here. One morning (well, I guess really it was about noon - she is 15 after all), Alyssa came down stairs and asked if we had gone in her room last night. Of course, we hadn't (she's a teenager, not an infant). She told us that she thought maybe we had moved the things off of Saoirse's changing table, because one of her bins was on the floor, and one of her line flushes was in a different place. Apparently Saoirse was doing some redecorating over night, and wanted Alyssa to play doctor with her. I'm not sure if Alyssa was excited or weirded out by the news that it was not us, but Saoirse, but she seemed to move on and continue with the day. I felt good that Saoirse wasn't trying to get Alyssa out of her room :)

I will post more about all our goings on soon. Someday I'll feel like I can sit and wright. It's been a tough few weeks, but hopefully things will start to settle soon. Although I feel like I've been saying that forever. Someday.