The summer time is proving to be rough emotionally. We spent last summer so hopeful that Saoirse was going to be well, and she seemed to be heading that way. We spent all our time with her - doing fun things and finding things to do that would make her forget she was sick. We made sure she enjoyed every day.
Now, everything we do is a reminder of last summer and what we did with Saoirse. It's a reminder of all the things we did with her, and all the things she got to experience. But it's also a reminder of all the things she never got to experience. When we do find something new to experience, we are saddened that Saoirse didn't get to do it with us.
This is the double edged sward of our summer this year. A time when we feel like we should be enjoying ourselves, but instead we are forcing ourselves to try and be "normal." But, thanks to good friends and family, we have been coerced into getting out and enjoying the season.
Kezia,
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you every time I imagine what you go through. You are one of the few people that I admire for your ability to stay positive and to find a way to include you baby girl in every day while still finding the silver lining of what she is missing by looking at the lives she touched in such a short time. I also read your post about your scans and wanted to say congratulations!