Finally starting to feel the baby move. This is the strangest part of pregnancy for me. It's when it sort of gets real, but no one else can be part of it. Also, its hard to know what's baby and what's gas sometimes. When I went to my 16 week appointment on Monday, I couldn't really tell if it was the baby yet. Strangely, that afternoon, I really started feeling the baby wiggling. I kind of needed it, as I've still been having a tough time connecting with being pregnant. There are so many mixed emotions with this pregnancy, and it's been hard to get excited.
When we got pregnant with Saoirse, we were so excited. Reading all the books, doing all the preparations, getting the nursery ready, planning our new family... there was so much to do, and everything was new and exciting. This time, there is less to do to prepare. I don't need to read as many books, the nursery is already together, and Saoirse's not here to share it all with. I think as we go along, and the baby gets bigger and pushier, the excitement will build some, and I know I will love the baby when it arrives. I guess the good thing about pregnancy lasting 9 months is that we have time to work through all our emotions.
I haven't been on my blogger in a few months and have just began to resurface so to speak. I just saw this post on my feed, and I have to say it made me so happy to hear the news. You and your husband are such great parents and what a lucky child has chosen to come into your lives. Big sister Saoirse will be able to guide this little one through it all. You can bet that in that heavenly place they were the best of sisters and Saoirse helped to make this magic happen. Bright blessings to you all ~ from above and within.
ReplyDeleteJust as you were with Saoirse you will be a wonderful mommy to this baby. There will always be tough emotional moments since your a cancer mama but I have complete faith that whatever happens this baby is super lucky to have you and Mike and I'll bet your far more excited than you really feel. Good luck, best wishes, and as always I'm thinking of you guys.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are pregnant. Though you miss Saoirse, she is always a part of you.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and my prayers for you and Mike...
I found your blog inadvertently visiting Family "Bonding" Time about Nathan and Elisa who were both diagnosed with cancer just days of each other a couple years ago this month. There was a follower who I thought had a lovely face so I looked and saw she follwed the Bonds, like me, and you. Curious I had to visit and I have read through your blog. I am so sorry for all you have been through. Truly I am. I have never dealt with cancer, but I did lose a child, not to cancer, but a drunk driver. He was autistic and snuck out of the house while I cooked dinner three days before Christmas some years back. When I was pregnant again (and remarried) I was excited because for me it was a new start as I was blamed by my ex for my son's death. Anyhow, I am just trying to tell you what happened is that when I had my youngest son, he turned out autistic like my first son who died, but his condition was not as serious. I was in denial a long time realizing he too was autistic, but I managed and things worked out and he is doing great and so am I. I am so happy you are well and in remission and pregnant again. Some of my kids thought their new brother was a replacement for the brother they lost, that I was trying to replace him, but they finally realized that was not true and that you can never replace any one of us because we are all so individual and unique. I will be back to visit and I pray for you and your husband and new baby. God is good and He is giving you a new start and your baby girl knows, she sees, and all is good! xo -Liz
ReplyDeleteBlessings! Though it cannot heal your wounds and loss, it can bring you joy you need in your souls.
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