One Month

Lochlan is one month old today. I can't believe it's been a month. Sometimes it feels like longer, sometimes shorter. It is still surreal to have him here. He looks so much like Saoirse, it was hard to remember he wasn't her for a long time. In the middle of the night or when he's really crying I still sometimes call him Saoirse. It doesn't help that he wears a lot of her clothes. Sometimes it's nice to see him look so much like her - like he's for sure her brother - and sometimes it makes it harder. 

He is just now starting to interact with us more. He's a bit fussy (he's tongue tied and takes in a lot of air while nursing, so gas is our biggest challenge), but he is starting to make faces at us, and have an interest in toys. We have tried a couple books, but he's not quite interested yet. The car is a challenge that we are still working on. We are making progress, but I'm not looking forward to the long drives we will be taking in September. A pacifier in the car helps to a point, but since he doesn't latch well, he can't really keep it in his mouth so it takes a lot of effort from me. Sleep is ok - he fights falling asleep, but once he's out, he's out! Swaddling is still important to keep him from waking himself up, but he is doing well at night and takes a few good naps during the day. He's a big boy - gaining about a pound a week this first month - ending up over 11 lbs! I haven't measured how long he is, but he is definitely going to be a tall one (he's already too long almost for the boppy while nursing!). 

We are still learning each other and figuring it all out. Some days are better than others, some we are just tired. I'm looking forward to the people we are going to be seeing this september. Many of our friends and family didn't get to meet Saoirse when she was young (or at all) as we didn't get the chance to travel with her. I'm glad that Lochlan will get to meet everyone and travel a lot while he is growing up. 

I'm looking forward to when he's more interactive. I keep asking myself "what did I do when Saoirse was a month old?" I feel like I don't remember the fussiness and the crying, and I just remember when she started to really be more interested in things and have more control over her hands to play with me and her toys. I look forward to when we play together and do things together that will make us laugh. I can't wait to hear him really laugh. 

We will take it one day at a time, and remember that time goes by too fast. For now, things are not so "new" - but once he is about 10 months old, it will be new to have a healthy baby - and after 18 months, everything will be new. It's a strange place to be, knowing that in time, I won't be able to compare what Saoirse did at that age to what Lochlan is doing. He's not my first baby, but we will be having a lot of firsts together in time. It's our strange reality - our new "normal" life.