tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7204700195897739238.post6283263736492241379..comments2023-08-25T05:34:56.433-07:00Comments on New Mom ..... New Cancer: Feeling Gipped....Keziahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07980900249761748768noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7204700195897739238.post-2006013528180207002016-09-30T08:59:27.018-07:002016-09-30T08:59:27.018-07:00Your comment is very hurtful. What you are saying ...Your comment is very hurtful. What you are saying is the opposite of the truth. You really need to put yourself in this beautiful ladies shoes and show compassion. Her son is loved and although she may be feeling these things, she is being honest and real. Her son, I know feels loved. She is in a situation that is very complex. Her emotions are something that most would feel in her situation. All her son needs is to know that his mom is there and loves him. She is expressing her struggles and emotions which is very hard and very brave. She needs all the support she can get and your comment should simply be deleted. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7204700195897739238.post-51201294387216494302016-09-30T08:46:06.542-07:002016-09-30T08:46:06.542-07:00Kezia, I stumbled across your blog and I felt an o...Kezia, I stumbled across your blog and I felt an overwhelming sense of grief for you. I honestly can relate to your struggles in regards to your son. I have 2 children. With each birth I have suffered with post partum depression. The birth of my second child changed me completely. I often wonder why I have a hard time connecting with him on certain levels. His father and I are divorced and I often see myself sending him to his dads house instead of being the mom I wish I could be to him. It is a hard cycle that I am stuck in. I do not have cancer but I suffer mentally. I tell my son I love him everyday, I know that I am not really in the right condition to care for him the way I want to or how I imagined I would be as his mom. If I would have known that having another child would mean that my depression, axniety would be almost intolerable I am not should I would have made the decision to have another child. I HATE it. I simply do not have the energy to give him all that he needs. He is now old enough to play sports and be active but I cannot physically do it alone. So I understand the pain that you feel when you look at your child and realize that you are missing out on precious time you can never get back. You are doing all you can do. Your son, knows that you love him. As he gets older he will understand the reasons why you have not been able to do what most other mothers are doing. Cancer sucks and losing a child to cancer as well simply has you grieving and fighting your own health battle. Do not for a second feel that your son does not know that you love him. He does know. Please do not blame yourself, you have so much fight in you and you are a wonderful mother. Please remember that you did not choose this. You are doing the best you can with what you have been dealt. Try to stay positive so that your body can have the energy it needs. Stress and being angry is taking a toll on your body. Keep up the fight. At this time, your son is getting what he needs. Your presence and love is what matters most. I am praying for you and your family. I am not religious but I do believe in the gospel and god has is arms wrapped around your family. Much love!! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7204700195897739238.post-44109701325744268192016-09-15T09:39:45.915-07:002016-09-15T09:39:45.915-07:00Kezia I think that you're doing an amazing job...Kezia I think that you're doing an amazing job as a parent. It takes courage to be able to examine how and why you feel a certain way and by you writing about it you've already done more than most people ever would. What you said makes perfect sense to me and I can't say that I wouldn't feel the same way. I just want to remind you that spending your time being angry or sad or even scared isn't really living and from all I've ever read in your blog posts that isn't at all who you are. You love living, being part of everything, trying everything, and more than anything I want you to be you and find joy where you can just like each of us tries to do everyday.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7204700195897739238.post-32654344797370573602016-09-09T09:28:17.840-07:002016-09-09T09:28:17.840-07:00Yes, disregard that awful statement from the secon...Yes, disregard that awful statement from the second "Anonymous". It is clear in the way you are writing that you are aware of your struggles, all of which are TOTALLY NORMAL under the circumstances. Parents who have lost a child and/or live with a life threatening illness often struggle with these issues. The fact that you are aware and open about things makes you stronger. Please don't let the trolls get to you; it says so much more about this person that s/he would attack you and minconstrue your open and honest accounting of what are entirely normal feelings. I am wishing you the best, as are the majority of people reading your blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7204700195897739238.post-42092197161215487092016-09-09T09:10:38.043-07:002016-09-09T09:10:38.043-07:00Please DISREGARD the above statement from someone ...Please DISREGARD the above statement from someone who probably has not dealt with or knows much about dealing with a chronic illness. What you are experiencing is unfortunately normal for your situation. It's apparent you are a great mom and doing the best you can.Normahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02992166262685381216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7204700195897739238.post-52686801396656021552016-09-08T02:53:54.848-07:002016-09-08T02:53:54.848-07:00I read your blog occasionally, this latest post ma...I read your blog occasionally, this latest post makes me concerned for your son. You're showing him that a mothers love means holding him responsible for your illness and never measuring up to his deceased sister. Also you say you withhold love to help lessen heartbreak in a worse case scenario. I dont know what services are available to your son, but whatever they are I hope you're taking advantage of them. <br />Your situation is HORRIBLE. But NONE of it is the fault of your son, who you and your husband made the choice to bring into this world. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7204700195897739238.post-40862883386601933152016-09-05T11:43:29.397-07:002016-09-05T11:43:29.397-07:00Kezia, I don't know you personally, but I read...Kezia, I don't know you personally, but I read your story on CNN a few years ago and have been checking in on your blog ever since. I'm so in awe of your courage, strength, honesty, and realness. I had tears in my eyes when I read your experience as Saoirse and Lochlan's mom. My prayer for you is that you can let go of the unnecessary guilt you carry. We moms are very good at feeling guilty about the slightest things. You have been dealt very difficult cards. And despite all of that, it's obvious to a total stranger how committed you are to your family, your children in particular, and how fiercely you love both of them. Lochlan may never get to meet Saoirse in this life time, but you're doing everything you can to make sure he knows his sister. What a lovely way to honor her life and her memory! You're doing what you can. It's not what you had planned or wished for, but it is what you can do for now. It won't always be like this and when you can do more for and with Lochlan, you will. You're doing what you can and that's nothing to feel guilty about. You may not be able to play with Lochlan the way you both want to, but that little boy knows his mommy loves him. There is no greater gift you can give your children than to send them into the world knowing they're loved unconditionally. You are doing just that, I can read it and feel it in your words. You're an excellent mother. Not the kind of mom you had pictured, but an excellent one nonetheless. Please take that to heart and let go of the guilt because it's not yours to carry. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com